All Things Baby — A List of Must-Have Items/Resources

Written By Danielle DeZao

A list of items & resources from preconception through postpartum from a first-time mom certified in holistic health/integrative nutrition — keeping it simple to make room for the magical.

About

I’m Danielle, founder of The Purple Thread, certified in holistic health/integrative nutrition and reiki energy healing, with a background in live events. My idea of “well-being” means keeping it simple enough to make room for the magical.

Before pregnancy was even a thought, many of the lifestyle changes I made over the last 15 years were out of pure necessity. My late teens to early thirties included a lot of joy, and also some of the darkest moments-turned greatest teachers — an abusive relationship, burnout, the near-death of a loved one, and a blood clot discovery. They led me to take care of myself in a way I never imagined would prepare me for/support me through creating a new life. The more I learned what my body was capable of, the more informed I felt, and the more in awe, grateful, and in tune I was. What in your life has led you to listen better?

While everyone’s experience and approach to pregnancy, and life for that matter, is different.. one thing is the same. We’re all capable of listening to and trusting our bodies. Choosing to pay attention is the key.

We’ve heard it said in so many different ways: What you do for yourself, you do for others. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t fill from an empty cup. Once you start to meet yourself, you can’t undo it. It’s never too late, but consider what a gift it is to get acquainted with yourself, for yourself. Everything and everyone in your world only gets better because of it (just wait until you see that mother’s intuition in action). Instinct is a magical muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. It’s been with you all along, waiting for your attention. Welcome it.

“The List” below is sorted by Preconception, Prenatal, Baby, and Postpartum.

It’s the outcome of hours of research and lived experience from pre-baby through six months postpartum. Resources aside, it’s a collection of tips, gifts, and gestures from loved ones who have “been there,” things I know I’ll never forget and am honored to pass along. It reflects our lifestyle and values — apartment living, relaxed yet timeless style, simplicity, spending where it matters (multi-purpose/convertible items that grow with us), and as for healthcare, a balance between Eastern and Western philosophies.

The bottom line? Consider shifting your attention. Tend to yourself as much as (dare I say more than?) the nursery, and you’ll give yourself and your family the greatest gift of all, one that can’t be bought through a registry: peace, presence, connection, and a positive example of how to live.

You are your baby’s home. The “stuff” is secondary. (You need way less of it than you think, anyway :)

Whether you’re planning on/hoping to become a parent or are curious about how to support others along the way (great gift recommendations), I hope you find this useful. If you do or you’d like additional support from me, I’d love to hear from you xx

Health History
I got pregnant at 33 and delivered at 34. But at 32, I discovered a blood clot in my chest (subclavian DVT), blocking blood flow from my head into my heart. I had been on birth control since 16 or so, first for period symptoms like many other women my age. We will never know the “main cause,” because I’m sure it was a result of many different factors, but intensive testing told us what it was not — injury, genetics, or any form of cancer. We checked. We’ve heard “stress kills,” but it’s not just ONE instance. It’s cumulative. A recent study proved anxiety and depression as serious risk factors for blood clots, and I fully believe the birth control pill played a role in my diagnosis.

Finding this clot and advocating for myself when I was repeatedly told I was fine (and doing so before it became a potentially fatal pulmonary embolism) was a blessing. I learned to pay better attention and I know it cleared the way for her — our daughter-to-be.

Birth Preferences
I like preferences vs. “plan.” It leaves a little space for the inevitable unknown. I noticed so much fear and negativity surrounding pregnancy and became very selective with what I was taking in. Understanding risk is important, but where was the joy and empowerment surrounding this miracle? I followed very few pregnancy accounts and turned inwards, listened to my body, and had real conversations with people and professionals I felt aligned with. I knew in my heart that everything leading up to this moment was for a reason and that if I could trust my body through all of that, I could trust it now.

I decided to try to deliver naturally and unmedicated, and if I changed my mind along the way just because or for safety reasons — sure! I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I just wanted to be me - and thanks to an incredible support system, I was able to. I feel such a sense of sacred gratitude and pride for how our baby entered the world.

Learnings
It’s unbelievable to me that from one July to the next, I found out I was pregnant and then had a four-month-old. There are endless takeaways from this relatively brief yet surreal period. But mainly, these… The human body is absolutely incredible. Take the time to learn, listen to, and trust it. Read positive stories. Hear the fear but have faith in what you’re capable of. Seek the right support but trust YOUR instinct. There are many things out there (like every industry) that are ALL marketing — often unnecessary and sometimes even unsafe. You need less than you think. While some newer technology is beneficial, others will just add to your anxiety. Find the middle. Everyone’s experience is different. It does go fast, but it goes so, so much slower when you’re present. This too shall pass. The good, the bad. Love it all, with your all.

To Come

  • Birth Story

  • Hospital Packing List

  • Deep dives into each trimester - first, second, third, fourth

  • Features on resources/services

Contact

For questions/more information/interest in working together in a 1:1 or group setting, reach out via email xx

PRECONCEPTION

Health & Self-Care

  • Holistic Health Support - I worked with a health coach/reiki healer in 2019 and made sustainable lifestyle changes that created my new normal. I became certified in both of these areas and when it came to fertility and prenatal health, I was pleasantly surprised to feel like there wasn’t very much that was “new” to the way I had already been living. For questions/more information/working together, email me xx

  • An OBGYN that you love - they exist! Though our practice was out-of-network, it went towards our deductible and I felt the quality care and attention were worth the added cost. Following the blood clot at 32 and finally being off birth control after so long, I was eager to dive into my reproductive health. What if the pill had been masking something else this whole time? Cysts? Cancer? I wanted a thorough check of my body at its baseline without the false hormonal overload. I went to Maternal Resources (Hoboken, Jersey City, NYC) and did a full gyno exam including transvaginal ultrasound and bloodwork. All was well, but the intensity and fear of the clot saga combined with the hormonal chaos rocked me. I needed to self-regulate.

  • Thankfully, within 3 months, the blood thinners dissolved the clot, but I knew I also needed to support myself in other ways. I integrated alternative healing therapies to improve my circulation and overall well-being.

    • Physical activity - I knew exercise was crucial to my healing, but I felt like I had a ticking time bomb inside of me. It was so unnerving. I stuck with walking and eventually recommitted to regular yoga.

    • Acupuncture - My first time! My period was irregular and clearly, my circulation needed support. I started going to regular sessions and taking the prescribed Chinese herbs. Bonus? It supported a healthy pregnancy. I stuck with it.

    • Massage/Facial - I have the Hand & Stone monthly membership and did my best to alternate between massages and facials each month. The massages released tension/toxins, and the facials were crucial to supporting my temperamental skin post-birth control.

  • Breathing - I can’t stress the importance of this enough. It will be relevant for the rest of your life! Research belly/diaphragm/nasal breathing and the vagus nerve.

  • Supplements (always consult with your doctor)

    • Seed Probiotic/Prebiotic - Daily/morning. Save with code - thepurplethread.

    • LMNT Electrolytes - Daily/I like half of one packet first thing in the morning and another half in the afternoon. (Receive a free sample pack with any purchase with the above link).

    • Prenatal Multivitamin + DHA - Daily/afternoon. I started these prior to becoming pregnant.

    • Magnesium - Daily/before bed.

    • Occasionally - Vitamin D3/K2, zinc

Books

PRENATAL

Health & Self-Care

  • Before all else - a support system, however it may look for you. I may have physically grown and given birth to our daughter, but one of my favorite things about this experience has been watching my husband become a dad, a role he dove into long before she was in our arms. He educated himself and was just so present (every appointment he could join, he did). He was genuinely interested, involved, and equally fascinated throughout the entire process, and I know it laid the foundation for the amazing bond they have now. I also credit our doula for empowering him in his equally important new role as “Annie’s Dad,” while guiding him in supporting me so that together — we could be better for our baby.

  • OBYGN - We stayed with Maternal Resources (Hoboken, Jersey City, NYC) and delivered at Hackensack University Medical Center. My first appointment was at 6 weeks (I thought I was 7 but the scan showed I was earlier!) At this point, she was a “sesame seed with a heartbeat” ..!

  • Doula - I absolutely cannot imagine this experience without our doula! I encourage others to research what doulas actually do (many misconceptions) and tap into the incredible support system that they provide to both you and your partner.

  • Childbirth Class - This is typically included when working with a doula, otherwise you can find one locally/virtually.

  • Maven Clinic App - See if it’s included in your work benefits or what the individual plan offers. Otherwise, plenty of other pregnancy tracking apps.

  • Pediatrician - Do your research while pregnant/ask your OBGYN if they can make a recommendation.

  • Supplements (continued with same as preconception, always consult with your doctor)

  • Physical activity - Mine was walking, yoga (Vinyasa, Yin, and Prenatal eventually mixed in)

  • Reiki energy healing - Monthly

  • Acupuncture - Monthly and then weekly beginning at 36 weeks.

  • Massage/Facial - I have the Hand & Stone monthly membership and did my best to alternate between massages and facials each month, though I favored pre-natal massages at this phase for the most part.

  • Therapy - on and off in the past but more regularly once I found out I was pregnant.

Supportive Resources

  • Books

  • Pregnancy app - Maven Clinic (if this isn’t available to you, ask your friends their preferred app - so many!)

  • Weekly emails - I got these from both Maven Clinic and Babylist and found both valuable (even after birth).

  • Insurance/Misc - If you’re changing anything for insurance - we added life insurance (which came with a will), hospital indemnity insurance, and FSA for copays, etc. Check them out. Insurance also covers a breast pump - more below.

  • Babylist Registry - See more below.

Products

Labor & Delivery

It feels odd to share so little here within the most crucial moment, but for this post, sticking with products/resources that were purchased/used per category.

Registry

  • I found this process to be so overwhelming. Unlike a wedding registry, every single item was new to us! Having to research what felt like endless items we knew nothing about was consuming. I compiled friends’ registries, checked out a few “must-have” lists, and started chipping away.

  • 60 days out from your due date, Babylist gives you 15% off things that are purchasable through the Babylist store but it is a one-time use so if there are any outstanding things from your registry (or things you still want to add), you can get the discount as long as it’s through Babylist shop. When possible, make bigger items like strollers group gifts where people can contribute cash to the gift and then wait until your discount is available to purchase directly through Babylist.

  • I wish Babylist had a feature to check off items as they arrived - it’s kind of a free-for-all since people can buy from other retailers and then forget to go back to Babylist and select “I’ve purchased this,” so we got a few duplicates! I just printed the gift tracker and crossed off items as they were delivered.

  • See below for all of our items linked and sorted by category for easy shopping.

BABY

Feeding

While you will have certain intentions and desires, you can’t possibly know how your labor and delivery are going to go, or even how you’ll end up feeding your baby. You can only give it the thought it deserves and be prepared to adapt. For example, I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed, but Annie didn’t latch in the hospital which led me to start pumping right away. After consulting with a pediatric occupational therapist and pediatric dentist, we ended up getting her tongue tie corrected at 4 weeks. I then began exclusively pumping, which I never even knew much about as a feeding option. It felt very overwhelming at first - like I was on a neverending cycle of pumping and feeding on top of everything else!

It got easier, as it all does, and felt like the best scenario for us. I (and others) can feed her with my milk through a bottle, and as of 10 weeks or so, I’ve been able to stretch the time between pumping sessions. I take it day by day, knowing if I need to make a change or supplement, I can and will do so.

Sleeping

Diapering

Baby Gear

Baby Gear Accessories

Health, Safety, Bathing

Nursery & Decor

Clothing (work in progress!)

Every brand’s sizing is different and it depends on your baby’s weight/length! For example, some babies never even wear newborn sizing, but it’s good to have some on hand. In general, we registered for very few items up to 6 months. Lots of onesies/pajamas in the beginning, and it sounds obvious but consider the seasons you’ll be in for each size! We received a few gifts in sizes that didn’t match up to the season and felt bad when she wasn’t able to get a wear in. Once she was born, we received many 6+ month items and hand-me-downs which was nice! We didn’t put her in many real “outfits” until 3 months and even then - comfort and ease!

  • Velvet Baby Hangers

  • Bonsie Baby Bundle Footie (0-3 month)

  • Kimono Tops (newborn)

  • Double Zip Footie Pajamas (minimum of 4 of each size - all depends on laundry frequency)

    • Newborn

    • 0-3 months

    • 3-6 months

    • 6+ months

  • Long Sleeve Onesies (0-3 months, 4 of them)

  • T-shirt Onesies (0-3 months, 4 of them)

  • A few cute sets/dresses beginning at 3 months (mostly onesies before that)

  • A few layette sets to mix and match

  • Simple Joys by Carter’s Sweaters (2-pack)

  • Sun Hat (0-6 months)

  • Bear Bunting Suit (kept this in the stroller for her to lay inside of on chillier days)

  • Beanie hats

  • Brands we’ve received and liked so far — Little Sleepies, Quincy Mae, Tiny Kind, Pehr, Ruffle Butts, Touched by Nature, Burt’s Bees, Carter’s, Gerber, Gap, Old Navy

Playing

Misc

POSTPARTUM

Health & Self-Care

  • From the hospital - They encourage you to take any supplies that you can! For baby - diapers, temporary bottles (small), pump parts if compatible, swaddle blankets. For mom - pads, witch hazel, pain relieving spray, and any other healing products. They can’t re-use anything that was in your room - take it!

  • Lansinoh Postpartum Essentials Recovery Kit

  • Panty Liners - I used various brands of thin liners from the drugstore for a few weeks post-partum.

  • Pajamas, robes, cozy sets, and slippers that keep you comfortable and also make you feel good.

  • Nutrition & nourishment - many of the books above include guidance specific to the “Fourth Trimester,” also consider working with a professional.

  • Doula - Some people have postpartum doulas or night nurses. We didn’t, but our doula was available to us via phone/video which was very helpful.

  • OBGYN - Check-up between 6-8 weeks postpartum.

  • Physical activity - Walking, walking, walking. Leaving for a class means someone needs to be with the baby so this has been challenging between naps/pumping/etc, but beginning at 8 weeks postpartum, I’ve worked in a few yoga and pilates/barre classes. Eventually, naps become more predictable and easier to schedule around.

  • Acupuncture - Monthly

  • Massage/Facials - The first massage laying on my stomach again felt amazing! Back to alternating between.

  • Reiki energy healing - Monthly

  • Professional mental health support as needed.

  • Supplements (always consult with your doctor)

    • The same as prenatal with the addition of blood-thinning support. There’s an increased risk of clotting following birth. Because of my clot history, I had to do a daily injectable blood thinner (Lovenox) for 6 weeks postpartum and baby aspirin after that. For anyone, compression socks are helpful at this time, too!

  • Most importantly — patience, gentleness, and grace with yourself.

Baby

  • Pediatrician - These regular visits have helped guide us through both the day-to-day and milestones. It’s been helpful to be in a local moms’ group to compare notes and see there’s no shame in switching practitioners if you need a better fit.

  • Since the baby was born, we’ve met with a Pediatric Occupational/Physical Therapist, Lactation Consultant, and Pediatric Dentist (tongue tie). Professions we didn’t even know much about! But follow your gut - it led us to the right people.

  • Misc - I like this pediatrician’s Instagram account for relatable, realistic, and funny guidance!

  • Insurance - In general, always check with your insurance company to see which services/practices can be covered or at least submitted towards your out-of-network deductible for possible reimbursement.

Supportive Resources

  • Huckleberry App - To track feedings/sleep/pumping. This was and still is an absolute lifesaver for us, beginning with our first night home from the hospital. We upgraded to Plus ($60/year), supporting with sleep predictability once babies hit 2 months.

  • Family Album App - Invite your family/friends to see the baby photos/albums you upload! It alleviates so much back and forth via text message, is fun (emotional!) to look back, and gives the option for to order physical prints.

  • Mom/Baby Group - Ideally in person. I’m thankful to have been referred to Take a Moment weekly gatherings (offered in both Hoboken area and Central NJ suburbs). Annie was just about 6 weeks old when we started (8-week program). I didn’t realize how much I’d appreciate having this support and connection with new moms in the same phase as me.

Nursing/Pumping

  • Electric Pump - I have the Medela Pump In Style. You can order through your insurance company's website or Babylist Health (also processed through insurance).

    • A second set of pump parts - I wish I did this sooner. In the very beginning, washing bottles/pump parts feels never-ending and this would have helped. Insurance automatically prompted me to order additional pump parts (free), which was great and I recommend doing but would have been helpful to have them right away. I also started putting the parts in the freezer in between pumps (not the bottles) and washing 1-2x a day vs. after every use. (Example)

  • Wearable Pump - I have the MomCozy S12. It’s not as effective as electric but ok in a pinch.

  • Flange Inserts - Any of the included flanges were too big for me, so I used 21mm and ordered 19mm inserts. Lots of trial and error here but it makes a difference. I would get 2 sets. I’ve since learned that you may need even smaller size inserts a few months in as things start to “shrink back” :)

  • Medela Storage Bottles

  • Milk Storage Bags

  • Kindred Bravely Organic Bamboo Reusable Nursing Pads - this brand in general is popular/comfortable

  • Lansinoh Breast Hot/Cold Therapy Packs

  • Earth Mama Nipple Butter - I don’t use this much, but popular for breastfeeding mamas.

  • Silver Nursing Cups - MAGIC!

  • Nursing/Sleep Bras

  • Pumping Bras

  • 3-Pack Nursing Bundle (Cami/Bras)

  • Plenty of snacks and hydration

Thoughtful Gifts

A few special gifts that we really appreciated! Don’t forget those thank you notes!

  • For parents - snacks/meals upon arriving home from the hospital and in the first few weeks, household chores when visiting, gift cards (Amazon, Seamless/GrubHub, spa/salon, favorite restaurants)

  • For mom - cozy robe, misc wellness/bath items

  • Books for parents - Daily Mindful Minis, Bringing Up Bébé, Family One Line A Day Journal

  • Books for baby - nice when they are personalized with a note from the sender!

  • Baby clothes - especially appreciated outfits beyond 3 and 6 months, bathing suits

  • Handmade and/or personalized blankets/quilts

  • Personalized towel/washcloth - Wicked Stitches

  • Blocks of numbered weeks/months for photos

  • Personalized step stool

  • Baby ear muffs

  • Stuffed animals

  • Sunglasses :)

Chances are, if we’ve interacted since finding out we were expecting a baby in July 2023, you’ve played a part in this journey. Your thoughtful insight, well wishes, and gifts have been treasured, combined with my own experience, and now shared to ease others into their own parenthood adventure. Thank you xx

 
“One thing about having a baby is that each step of the way you simply cannot imagine loving him any more than you already do, because you are bursting with love, loving as much as you are humanly capable of - and then you do, you love him even more.”
— Anne Lamott
 

The information received is from personal experience and should not be seen as medical or nursing advice as it is not meant to take the place of seeing licensed health professionals. A Health Coach is a mentor and guide who has been trained in holistic health coaching to help clients reach their own health goals by helping clients devise and implement positive, sustainable lifestyle changes. The Coach is not acting in the capacity of a doctor, licensed dietician-nutritionist, psychologist or other licensed or registered professional, and that any advice given by the Coach is not meant to take the place of advice by these professionals.

This website uses affiliate links which may earn a small commission for purchases made at no additional cost to you.

Danielle DeZao
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